I don't like me

Laying in this bed with this man; he wants sex but I wish it was more! Damn it why can’t I find love; why is it so hard to find?! Damn it I want somebody to love me! Wow I didn’t know it was going to be THIS hard to find. I should of known better but I fell in love with Tony. I feel like an idoit! This is what I get; now he wants to show off his girlfriend to me. Damn as much as I want to hate her, I can’t because I did this to myself! I thought Tony loved me? He kept telling me that he loves me but why don’t I feel it? I feel like I’m unimportant to him. I wish this wasn’t the case. But I do everything that he ask. But I still feel like I’m #2. Wow I’m really stupid! But I thought Tony loved me. I let him do this to me, no wait I did this to myself. Damn it why? Maybe I’m not pretty enough for him? I mean I don’t feel pretty today. This mirror keeps telling me to change. Tony keeps teling me me to change. Maybe he’s right! Al I ever wanted was love! I can accept that I made a mess out of my life! All I want is for Tony to love me but I made a mess of my life, I know. I seriously don’t know where to begin with my life, I lost my sight looking for love. Damn you Tony! However as much as I wish that I was as pretty as her but I still don’t like me!