Ok let me explain. I don't want to kill myself! I figured that people who goes through abuse needs a voice. So thats what I'm doing. So here it is-> Me & my boyfriend
You know I forgot about my friend. Mr. Blade is what I call
him. I know its not the best name but what’s in name? What’s important is how
he makes me feel. I mean I get a rush
when I confined in him. I get excited when I see blood coming out of my arms. I
feel like I did something right. So I could point at my scar and be like ‘Hey
can you do this!’ Most likely they cant because blood scares them. I’m not
scared because I’m used to the feeling. I’m used to feeling like I’m nothing. I
wish that I could feel something different but that’s not in the cards for me,
its just not.
So here I am. I’m hoping for the best but for what? Its not
like people like me, they don’t. They made that clear, crystal clear. I’m not
liked at all. People are ashamed of me. So what if I want to cut myself no one
cares! No one that’s who? No one cares. I’m better off dead or at least I think
I am. Maybe I’m crazy but Mr. Blade loves me! I know it’s not the traditional
courtship. He is always there when I call. When I need him, he is there for me.
That’s more than I can say about my exes. See it’s the only thing that’s always
there for me. Yes a knife is always there for me. Mr. Blade doesn’t think I’m
stupid. He isn’t shamed of me. Naw he is the only man that loves me! Yes the only man that’ll adore me. I wish had
more people to love me but that’s like winning the lotto. I should know, no one
would love me so it’s just Mr. Blade & me for now.
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